Father and Mother’s Love – the Source of Kid’s Self-confidence
September 8th, 2010 by dee
One complaint we often hear from the youth is that they are in lack of confidence, and they have no idea how to become confident. In fact, a person’s self-confidence should be cultivated from childhood and postnatal elements account for a very important proportion in a child’s growth course. But the directive source of confidence for kids comes from the love of parents and the different potential development, which can get the sense of control to the life.
For the source of feelings of inferiority and weakness. The well-known psychologist Erich Fromm once said: the source of feelings of inferiority and weakness can not do spontaneous activity, and can not express the true feelings and ideas, and express true self. As a result, their true-egos are bound to be replaced by the false ones. Whether we are aware of this, the biggest shame should be we are not acting ourselves. And buried in the situation in which we must meet others and see others’ acting on his face to act, and the greatest pride and happiness is nothing more than thinking, feeling and expressing the things belonging to ourselves.
Real self: not parents do love their children nowadays, however, in most of the time, they tend to indulge their children with their love, fearing that their children may be suffering from any difficulty and like to do things for their children. What Are Displayed? diesel jeans But in fact, “no matter under what conditions children grow up, as long as he has not intellectual defect, he must interact with others with this or that way, only in this way he can possibly get some skills.” That can develop this real vigor of him, clarify and penetrate into his feeling, thought, desire and interest.
Develop our potential, enhance his purpose, dig his special ability and talent and connect with others using his own feeling. The true ego is our intrinsic core power that we all own but in different meanings, and the real source we grow from. However, due to many bad influences, we can not permit to let the child grow by his purpose and ability. These bad influences are too many to calculate, the first is that the “education” from parents to kids. Care is necessary by parents to children, however, caring too much will depress children’s spontaneous felling and his character (real self/freedom of making decision). In particular, our instruction style now always kills autonomy (true self), instead, exterior feelings, thoughts and desires take the place of primitive psychological activity.
We often hear that some “good” children are always excellent in character and learning, but encounter lots of psychological problems in adulthood, the lack of confidence the most typical. Loving the children also need to pay attention to the ways and means. This loss often due to the appearance of fault and the children can not grow independently. He can not instantly adjust to the environment in college where many things need him to do from the living environment where everything is prepared by parents; Or in matters like affections that are not proper to consult parents, they come to a stand still, at a loss of how they should deal with it. So that parents’ love is the source of children’ confidence does not mean that parents become “tap” directly and are twisted to work when needed. The so-called source is to teach children how to find self and establish confidence rather than continuous giving. The love should be caring and leading, not indulgent and not taking care of all for them. This is what the correct way to love talking about.
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